Here's that question

I'm the yin to Carlos' yang .....
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You asked for MY 1st thoughts, so I'm going to assume it's a healthy, solid and fulfilling relationship (sexually and otherwise).......
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First thoughts ... It depends on how I found out, if I found out some other way than him telling me I'd feel deceived...If he came to me and said, I want to do this ... I'd appreciate him expressing his desires and fantasies...Like the old adage, it's easier to ask for understanding in permission than it is in forgiveness.....
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Angie..

LOL, Oops, Carlos pointed out that I may have misinterpreted this question hee hee .....
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I thought "when you were not together" was implying while the person was travelling or gone out for milk lol, instead of in their past (pre-gf/wife) .....
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Ahhhh, it's the past ... and unless this piece of information somehow wipes out all the positive/great things you have come to know & love about him and throws off the scale that much, it really shouldn't make that much of a difference.....
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I still maintain my position on the disclosure tho, coming directly from him, upfront and center is always better way of finding out things from the past...
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Angie..

At first, I would be a little disgusted and disheartened, but overall it would not be a major deal to me...I mean if it was before we were dating then I really do not have the right to be upset...I mean as long as he is std free and it was nit some like weird freaky stuff then it would not be a big deal to me...

I've had the guy I'm with admit he did that once -- it was a stripper at a party his fraternity had, and she gave him a blow job with a condom on...He said it was kind of lame...At first I was grossed out, but then it's just like ehhh...
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I've done some things that might gross him out, too :)..I say the past is the past, and as long as he wasn't making a habit of it, and you know he's disease free and isn't doing it now, it's not a big deal...

Well, uhm, I have no real control over what he does before he even knew me. But, honestly, it's a little icky. I did break up with a guy because I asked him not to hire a prostitute for a happy ending when we were together. (Since he used crappy ineffective married people lambskin condoms and I am a hypochondriac). So, while I'm with someone, I have a problem with it. Before he even knew me a) why would he tell me this and b) I don't have any real ground to complain. But, ideally, I'd prefer him to not have to pay for it...