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Sex > from anonymous3 answers
My sexlife with my boyfriend leaves a little to be desired, he just won't take control, I have to instigate sex, I have to give him a blow job, and even though he understands foreplay he won't make the first move and I basically have to choose the position and where we have it, yadda yadda. All I need is a whip and a leather thong. What should I do?..
Vote:
20%Buy a whip
80%Tell him if he doesn't start taking control you're going to dump him
0%I have no other ideas?
Who Voted For What:by gender|by age group
everyone .80%
female .82%
male22%78%
="Buy a whip"
="Tell him if he..."
="I have no other..."
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Total answers:3 Browse by: Top rated | All | Most commented Written by
from Holly (30-somethingfemale)
You guys need to sit down and talk this out, calmly and without accusations. To me, it doesn't sound like he necessarily has low libido, I'm assuming he doesn't turn away your advances, he just isn't starting anything. ..
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If that's true, you need to explain to him (perhaps again) that it's a compliment when he takes the lead. Tell him what you'd like to have him do to you. Explain how it makes you feel. He doesn't have to do it every time but it shouldn't be totally one sided. This is a tricky conversation because you don't want to make him feel defensive and hurt his male ego. ..
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I don't know if this is the case at all, it sounds like your situation is pretty obviously lopsided, but sometimes people have an inflated sense of what they do in a relationship and a deflated idea for their partner. Is it possible that you feel like you are always the one doing it and in reality he does do some things? Maybe I am way off base with that but I know that happened to me...
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from hugnkiss (30-somethingfemale)
Maybe he's just not that into you. ..
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You don't have to give anyone blow jobs. Blow jobs should be given because you want to do it. It is odd that you're saying you have to choose the positions and you have to start everything. Maybe he's gay. Or maybe he's sleeping with someone else. Or maybe..he's just not the guy you've read about in a billion romance novels who is going to flip you around the bed (which, is hot)...
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from Carlos (40-somethingmale)
A guy's perspective...
You're making him sound like a sloth in bed, lol. The easy answer is to start talking to him about your wants and desires. Tell him it turns you on when he XXXXXXXX while you XXXXXXX to him. Tell him about a fantasy you had where he XXXXXXXXX on you (fill in your own wants and desires)...If that doesn't fire up the old libido, perhaps it's time to seek a little professional counseling if you want to continue the relationship. He may also want to get checked out for his low sex drive, could be a medical problem...
-Carlos..
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