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Dating > from anonymous7 answers
I think I really screwed up. Can anyone help me?..
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Here's my situation: I met a guy on line and we started exchanging emails (flirty, funny, but also some substance, we were really getting to know each other). We emailed for a couple of weeks, then we talked on the phone a few times and started to make plans to meet. We had a great first date (a couple of drinks at a bar, very casual and quick) and then a good second date too (dinner first, then went to a cool wine bar and listened to some jazz). At the end of the first date we kissed/made out for a while, at the end of the second we went back to his place and had sex. I spent the night. Everything seemed fine, he called me that night, we chatted, he emailed me the next day, etc. A few days later, I was out with some girlfriends and had some drinks. When I got back home, I called the guy and, well, I guess it was a booty call. I was pretty buzzed, and I asked him to come over, and he did, and we had sex again. Since then (four days ago), nothing. No phone calls, no emails, no nothing. I called him once and he hasn't returned the call. I'm getting nervous that I turned him off, but I don't understand why -- we'd had sex already when I made the booty call, and he also took me up on it! Isn't it kind of weird and rude for him to drop me so suddenly? Or? Is there anything I can do to repair the situation? I really like this guy, and I've invested a lot of time and energy into getting to know him. Hate to think I ruined it with one ill-advised night...
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from Angie (40-somethingfemale)
It's not clear how often you guys communicate ... and altho some of the other comments may be right ... before you go tearing yourself apart about what you may have done to turn this guy off ... don't forget that you guys must have been doing something right to bring you thru profile, chatting, emailing, 1st date, 2nd date and sex to boot ... he's invested a bit of time too ... and 4 days isn't a long time ... maybe he's out of town .....maybe he can't get his messages ... maybe his dog died ....leave him a sweet sexy message letting him know you can't wait to see him again (and by sweet n'sexy I don't mean HEY WHY HAVEN'T YOU CALLED lol)... Be patient and Breath...Angie..
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from elwood (30-somethingmale)
Ahm, I don't really know what you should do (maybe the girls are better at answering that) but maybe it appeases you a little bit if I tell you that guy would be exceptionally weird if he first takes you up on a bootie call, and then gets weirded out *afterwards*...
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I'd suspect there are two types of guys: The ones who think, cool, that girl called me late at night and I got laid today (the vast majority, I'd assume) and the other ones who wouldn't come over because they are embarrassed, shocked or whatever. He doesn't seem to be one of the latter...
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from Carlos (40-somethingmale)
Generally guys put girls they've slept with into two categories, and I'll be kind. Booty Call types, and LTR types. You may have moved yourself from Box A to Box B with that drunken call. ..
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Guys do play some weird games in their heads with that one, cuz the question he's asking himself the next day is "who was she calling before she met me?"...Booty calls before you have a solid relationship bring up many questions like that in guy's minds ( and his friends bring up others)...
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Another thought is that maybe confident self sufficient women who take matters into their own hands frightens or threatens him, who knows...
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I'll go with Angie on this one and tell you to make one more call. No apologies, No whimpering, No Anger. But make him think...
-Carlos..
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from rockrat (20-somethingmale)
Yeah, I don't think you ruined it with the booty call. you guys were already "involved" so your call doesn't seem out of line. (and most guys would be psyched.)..
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it's not..clear why he's not calling you, but I think you should send him a friendly email not putting pressure on him, not emphasizing the fact that he's gone silent, simply seeing if he's free for dinner in the next couple of days -- and if all goes well his silence so far doesn't mean anything in particular...
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from cobo (30-somethingfemale)
Ooh. Sounds like a classic case of FHO: freaked himself out. When a guy freaks himself out about a dating situation, there's not always a lot you can do other than give him one more chance and then move on. Either he has to get over whatever his issues are, or that's the end of that. And if so, his loss. I hope he comes to his senses or that you find someone more confident soon...
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