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from anonymous2 answersI'd like some input on a disagreement my husband and I are having. Here's...show more
the story: a couple of years ago he had a falling out with his sister. since then, Christmas has been awkward. We don't get together with them (never did, they live too far away) and don't buy presents for each other, but each family gets things for the other's kids. So two years ago my hubby followed tradition even though he and his sister had just had that big fight, and bought magazine subscriptions for each of her three kids...spent a long time picking them out according to the kids' hobbies, age level, etc, and spent about $60-70 total. They sent us nothing, and he never got any kind of acknowledegement or thank-you from the kids (who were 13, 11 and 8 at the time, plenty old enough to either write a note or at least an email). So last year we sent a fruit basket to the whole family, and my sister in law sent our kids a toy that was entirely age-unappropriate and also completely contrary to our parenting style. I promptly donated it to a toy drive, but wrote her a thank you note nonetheless. OK, this year comes around. Their family has moved, and she sent my father in law an email with her new address, and specified in the email NOT to share it w/the family (which really meant us, of course), that she would let everyone know their address that they wanted to know. My FIL is an idiot and didn't read the email but just forwarded it around anyway, so we have their address and the knowledge that they didn't want us to have it. So what do we do this year? My hubby says we should send them a nice Christmas present, to the whole family, like a GC to a restaurant. I say we should send them nothing, and save our money or spend it on someone who would appreciate it. I think that not wanting us to have their address is a pretty pointed message; he says that we should send something in spite of that, and not stoop to their level. What do you all think? FWIW, they have tons of money and we are really poor, so it'd be a bit of a stretch to buy them something - those mag subscriptions really took a chunk out of our budget. I know it's not about the money, but the principle of it, but still, a $50 GC would be nothing to them, but the loss of the money would mean a lot to us, kwim?..Vote: