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Dating > from Angie (40-somethingfemale)11 answers
I'm curious ... with the ever-increasing amount of our "free" time spent online answering email, reading blogs, chatting, playing games and watching porn ... tell us ... how does your (and/or your s/o's) computer-face time and online activities impact on your relationship?..
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from ScarlettO (40-somethingfemale)
I must respectfully disagree with rudecherub on this one. The computer, both off- and, increasingly, on-line components, is a totally different beast than the pastimes of yore like parcheesi or sailing. For one thing, you can do it without (much) special equipment or clothing. It can happen anytime and almost anywhere. You don't need a partner, and indeed it has the companionship (or substitute therefore) built right into it. The interactivity of it can be addictive, too -- as can the online shopping, flirting, sex, and gambling. So i think the possibilities for computer use eroding real-time relationships are much greater than with other activities. I know my partner and I have had a few problems, although we've been able to work through them by limiting our own computer time and redoubling our efforts to connect face-to-face. However, I also think that surfing the net together and flirting through Facebook apps or sharing YouTube videos can be a fun way for partners to connect...
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from GothTart (20-somethingfemale)
I'm not currently in a relationship, so i can't really say how it would affect that. but i do have to say that there are some times when i am not in the mood for face-to-face, IRL company, but I do enjoy hanging out on line. there are some boards and forums where I like to go (as well as here on baffld!) and I love to look at pictures and blogs online. I have another set of friends who are just online friends, and it's fun to have a glass of wine or two or three ;-) and chat and IM and post on boards and update my facebook profile and so on. but of course there are also times when i am really in the mood to get all dolled up and go out, and dance, and talk to my friends, and flirt and meet real people in the flesh. so my answer would have to be that there's a place for both, and it's just a matter of being able to balance the two in a healthy way, so that you can enjoy both. good question, Angie! ;)..
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from cobo (30-somethingfemale)
On the one hand, I can get annoyed if we're together and he opens up the laptop just to surf around, but on the other hand, he's away right now and is showing a sweet side through his emails lately...I can tell he really wants me to be there. So it's a blessing and a curse. We wouldn't have met if it weren't for the Internet, so I can't really complain...
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from kathyartist2008 (40-somethingfemale)
I know for me, the computer has taken the place of TV. In the past, if I was going to waste or fill empty time, I'd put on the TV telling myself I'd just check the news or what ever..."just 5 minutes." Well, 5 minutes turned into....whatever...time. I find that now with the internet. I'll come downstairs to make coffee. I'll be lured to the computer to "check my email." Find that most any time of day, it pulls me like a magnet. And at my job, I'm an online designer. So I have the internet open all the time. You get the picture......
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Now in my relationship (we don't live together yet) we don't spend time on the computer in each other's presence at all unless he needs to go there to check on work related stuff which is minimal. I don't have any desire to check my email or go online. I wasn't that way in my past 15 year relationship either. ..
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But as I get closer to my bf and spend more time with him, we'll see if it becomes an issue. I hope not. I don't think it will if we are aware of it...
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from beachgirl (20-somethingfemale)
I think it definitely impacts it, to some point...The same way watching TV or getting caught up in a video game would...Sometimes my guy and I just have to turn off the TV or the computer and spend time together, talking and reconnecting...
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This especially happens when he gets caught up in online poker ;)..But I think if it wasn't the computer, it could be something else...Although emails and text messages and IMs cut down the need to talk on the phone, which seems much more personal, especially when you're first dating someone...But it also makes it easier sometimes to contact someone, since it doesn't seem as scary...
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So I guess there are pros and cons to everything!..
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