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Other Questions
from valaray (20-somethingfemale)4 answersSo... When I meet new people, I get really nervous. I smile and laugh, but when...show more
someone says something random just to be nice I don't know what to say and I don't say anything. So I come off as a bitch or snobby or something! I think I am scared that they will think I'm stupid. How can I come off as a friendlier, more talkative person? :(..
from sabalien (20-somethingfemale)2 answersIs this love, or just familiarity/ fear?
I suppose if i'm actually in...show more
love, I wouldn't have to ask this question. In any case, here goes...
..I'm turning 20 in three months, and I have been in love with one person for the last 4 and a half years of my life. We have dated on and off for about 4 years, first being friends at the mere age of 15. ..
..Today will mark 11 months of consistent dating without any breaks or surprise "take offs" (on his part.)..Our lovestory (I am young, but I can assure that IS what it is) began in the way of friends who never notice eachother connecting through surprise interests, and falling in love in the summertime, which resulted in dating during warm months and breaks during colder times. We remained friends during the times we did not date, but somehow he'd always come back to me. I thought it would always remain this way until last year aorund christmas when he said he was ready to commit. And he has been commited since then. Things have been rocky, as most relationships are (and if you love someone, it's harder, because everything they do seems to be a reaction to you, whether this is actually the case or not) but I know that I am in love with him, and he is in love with me. He talks about the future, something he never believed in before...But I'm still unsure of whether pursuing this relationship is for me. We are opposite people who used to connect really well, but because we are adults now and no longer have time for the fun-fare of teenage-hood, our lives have taken turns in ways that make it very difficult to align...He works night-shift+overtime, and sleeps during the day, while I am in university, and work on the side, so both of our time is very limited. But it isn't the lack of face-time that bothers me. It's that we cannot consistently be in good standing with eachother, and he is afraid to compromise because he doesn't want to lose who he truly is, for the likes of me. And I ditto that. He says he will die for me, but I am living for him (willingly) as of right now. ..
..
..Sorry for how long this was...Vote:
220
0%Yes, it's worth it. You just have to wait until you both settle your lives down.
100%No, if you can't be sure about it in this stage, you'll never know.
0%You should know by now, heck, it's been 4 years! Go with your gut.
from jusBreathe (20-somethingfemale)4 answersI was involved with my children's father for a long time .... he cheated...show more
.... I made the decision to move out with the kids, now that the affair is over, he has been badgering me telling me that he is a changed person and he wants to get back together to salvage our relationship and be there for his children. ..
..Two years since we've "made up" I told him that I feel I have been there from day one and he needs to commit to me and get married - so I've cut off the sex period. He's iff'ing and but'ting about he has to look out for his self. Prior to him cheating we hardly had sex, I hardly initiated anything, not that I don't like sex it's just that I feel if I'm going to get down and suck a man's d!ck and go all out, I want to be savouring those moments with my husband...
..However, he doesn't want to committ to someone who doesn't give in to sex . But I try to tell him that once we are married then everything changes, I would know that we are committed to each other .... ..
..Is there a way to go around this issue?!..
from anonymous3 answersI heard a news report about a police officer who went to investigate a complaint...show more
and while he was there, coerced the woman who was committing the crime (I think it was drug-related) into giving him sexual favors in return for not arresting her. She already had a record or was on probation....and I couldn't help thinking when I heard that, "wow, lucky break for her. All she had to do was blow some cop and she avoided going to jail." I mean, of course that's corruption, and she later complained to the police dept. and the guy was charged, and it turns out he has a history of this kind of behavior too, but anyway. Do you think that this is completely beyond the pale? If you were the woman, wouldn't you think that it was a pretty good deal? Imagine for a moment that you are guilty of some crime, but could avoid being charged, and jail time, and having it on your record, just by performing some sexual favors...would you do it or not?..
from lonelywhisper (20-somethingfemale)2 answersHow often would you like to have sex? How often do you realistically like to...show more
have sex? How often do you actually have sex?..
..I'm interested because I'm a very sexual person and my partner is not as sexual so that made me think about asking what other people fine "normal" for themselves...Vote:
from anonymous2 answersFor my boyfriend's birthday, I planned on taking him to see his favourite...show more
band for the first time at a big festival. I thought it'd be really special and fun so I told him a few months in advance to make sure he could get that day off, and he was so excited he told all his friends about it. Then, it turns out the band is also playing a month before his birthday on their own tour..so his friends ask him to ask me if it's okay if he goes. I say it's up to him, and what does he think, and he says that he feels it would kind of ruin it for his birthday since it's only a month apart and he wanted to share the first time with me. So, I thought that this was settled as I totally agreed with all that... then I find out he (after this conversation) bought tickets with his friends. I tell him this isn't cool, and I was hurt by this- more the fact that he changed his mind and did this when he said all those things about knowing it would ruin my plans. I ask him again later and he also says that he doesn't think he's going to go. Then wow...he goes. And also won't talk about how it was or what it was like after at all.....
..I didn't end up taking him after all that, for obvious reasons...and it's been about two months since his birthday. I thought I'd get over it but I can't even listen to the band on the radio anymore, and it really makes me not want to do anything special for him in the future. I also still seem to be very hurt by this...and I don't know why... I don't want to bring it up because we're in a good place right now so how do I get over it? Or should I even...I'm worried that this is some sort of red flag that I'm ignoring...
from watcha (20-somethingmale)6 answersOne of my childhood fears was that my parents would smoke cigarettes behind my...show more
back even though I've never seen them smoke. I can't help how I feel about smoking or addictions in general in regards to people I like. The girl I love is a smoker and it drives me crazy. At the end of a day I remember every cigarette she's been smoking. Hearing the sound of the lighter makes my heart beat faster, 2-3 cigarettes and a coffee to start the morning - it's some kind of ritual for her, for me it's reason enough to get moody and distracted. It stresses me out... more then school, my studies or work ever did...
..The better I know her, the more I love her, the more of my plans and dreams have to do with her the more I worry about her addiction and my reaction to it. I usually base decisions on logical thinking. Define the problem, search a solution. But in this case I'm at a loss because I don't understand my "feelings" about it. And because the obvious solution is out of my reach...
..What can I do? Talk to her. Oh, I did... we had some of our best dramatic moments about the very topic. She says she doesn't plan to smoke forever. That she intends to stop in the next couple of years anyway. That her smoking isn't the only problem but also my reaction to it and that I knew she was a smoker even when we first met. That it wouldn't work in the long run if she stopped if I blackmail or bribe her to do it. Well... all that makes sense, right? There's only one way that will work - the insight that she'll be better off without it. But what can I do now?..
..I considered to start smoking myself and I can't even say why I think that would help - I just feel like it would. We make some other strange compromises already. Like smoking weed together. A joint in Europe consists usually of weed mixed with tobacco. For some reason I don't mind that. Seems to run in a different category, like having a couple of beers with friends doesn't make me worry about alcoholism. I don't make much sense, eh? But that insight doesn't help me either.....
from lonelywhisper (20-somethingfemale)5 answersEver since I started dating my boyfriend over a year ago, my 2 best friends in...show more
the area have completely blown me off. I've tried planning girls weekends, weekends for them to come hang out and get to know my boyfriend, weekends for the 3 of us and our 3 boyfriends to hang out and I either don't get a response or get one last second that says "no."..I still try to call them, but it's trailed off, admittedly, because I never get anywhere. I really miss them and don't know what to do. They've each recently sent me really mean emails telling me that it's all my fault we don't talk and twisting all of the invites and caring things i've tried to do into these horrible attacks on them or ways of showing how little i care about them. ..
..I have admittedly, been really busy -- i was gone every weekend over the summer and have now taken on classes on top of full time work, an internship, a boyfriend, etc.That certainly affected how much I've been around, but everytime I am free they are the first people I contact to try to hang out or make plans. ..
..What do I do? How do I respond to these attack emails I've gotten?..
