Dumped Questions
from j3d0330 (30-somethingfemale)7 answers
I've been having a weekly booty call with a guy once a week for over 4 months...show more
now...Thought I was 'cool' enough to deal with a non-committed relationship but the past month or so i've been..calling/texting a few more times a week than the usual...We seem to get along well and the sex is good...I texted him friday night with an offer for dinner, chilling and a massage at my house...I mentioned in the text that he can rest assure i still am not looking for a commitment...He never called/texted back...*sigh*...This is the first weekend he didn't call me to hook up...I think he senses i'm trying to get closer and is perhaps backing away...I felt awful that he didn't contact me and thankfully went out with friends rather than staying at home feeling like a loser about it...My question is, do i have the right to ask him what's up?..Would calling him make me look desperate?..Does he have any obligation to call me if we aren't in any sort of committed relationship? I've never been in this situation before and not sure how to deal with it...I do enjoy our time together and would like it to continue just need to figure out a way to detach myself a bit more and realize it's just for sex... Any advice?..ahhhH!?..
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from bgirl (20-somethingfemale)8 answers
I am currently in a relationship with my boyfriend of four years. We were high...show more
school sweethearts and I am now in college...We went to the same college and last year lived together while attending school...However, he decided that school was not for him...He dropped out but continued to live with me for a good 6 months while unemployed until he finally moved back home (an hour away) and got a job...We'd done the long distance thing before during his first year of college and my last year of high school, so we figured it would be no problem to do it again...
..It has worked well so far, but now that I don't see him nearly as often, I am finding that I don't really miss him as much as I thought I would...When I picture the future together, I honestly don't see him as the man I am standing next to at the altar or the one taking care of my kids...Now that I'm getting closer and closer to the real world with real responsibilities, I find it harder to believe he will step up to the plate and share them...I love him, care for him, and he makes me happy, and I know he absolutely adores me, but I just don't see a future and I sometimes I feel like I am settling... I also know it would absolutely crush him if I were to break it off, and I don't want to cause him pain...
..The thing is, he doesn't have a clue that I feel this way...We've talked about marriage, careers, children and all aspects of the future with no problem...This is also my first real relationship and I know if I did break it off it would have to be a clean break, with no more contact and no 'staying friends.'..This part of it also panics me, and I don't want to stomp on his heart and it would pain me to cause him so much pain...
..I do love him, and I do have a lot of fun with him when I see him, and he does makes me happy. I am really struggling with this decision...Sometimes I feel like the answer is clear but at the same time I absolutely cannot see myself doing it...
..So my question is, what do I do?..Am I settling? Is this a valid reason to break up?..We have been together for so long I just don't know if that's something I am capable of doing...When I sit here and think about not being with him anymore, I get panicked because it is such a huge part of who I am and who I was for the past four years...But I feel equally as panicked when I think about the future, and I just don't know if he will make me happy...
..Thanks for any advice...Sorry this is so long and personal (I'm new at this)...Vote:
1367
62%Break it off
15%Stay with him
23%Stick it out until school is over
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62%Break it off
15%Stay with him
23%Stick it out until school is over
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everyone62%
.23%
female67%33%402
male57%29%
.421
2
teens50%50%101
8
20 somethings50%25%25%422
1
30 somethings100%100
2
40 somethings100%200
0
50 somethings.000
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.="Break it off"
.="Stay with him"
.="Stick it out..."
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from cutiepatootie (teenfemale)4 answers
So i dated this guy for 3 months, not in a relationship. It bothered me so I...show more
asked him about it. He said well im going to ask you out soon, he never did.. He was kind of flaky when we made plans he would sometimes blow them off but not a lot a lot But he was always so sweet when we did and funny. He would take me around his friends too and show affection. I never had sex with him either so that's not the case here. Well anyway we where suppose to hang out one night.. but he flaked off and never said sorry i couldn't hang out today or anything but i was looking at his comments and some girl said "hey sorry, i can't hang out tonight with you guys.. i have to clean" or something like that. And well he logged into AIM at 3:00 AM in the morning.. and said hey i have something to tell you which you probably won't like.. Then he said "Now's not a good time for me to have a girlfriend.."..This is after the weekend I almost lost my virginity too him.. but he said no, I dont want you to loose it like this..I want your first time to be special (we where both drunk) So then after all that, he still talks to me sometimes.. He randomly Instant messages me maybe 3 times a week.. at most.. ..But sometimes he is a straight up jerk when he talks to me.. Like today he instant messaged me saying "What is up with your picture" and..I said what are you talking about.. he said "no offense but the weird looking one" and then he said "im just watching out for you.."..I don't get it? He's confusing.. help me out here.. what does this sound like to you?..
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from anonymous5 answers
My boyfriend and I have been together for about 7 months. We went to school together...show more
but now that school has ended we never see each other. We only talk on aim and he barely ever calls. I'm more sad then happy ,and he keeps saying he loves me. Thing is he doesn't really show it, I don't know though, if I should leave him or wait for things to play out . I don't even know if I love him anymore. I'm not even the pushy girlfriend type! But should I leave him? I'm so confused...Vote:
20118
80%leave him
20%Wait a while, see if things change
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80%leave him
20%Wait a while, see if things change
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everyone80%
.
female73%27%83
male87%
.71
9
teens67%33%63
8
20 somethings100%80
3
30 somethings67%33%21
0
40 somethings.00
0
50 somethings.00
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.="leave him"
.="Wait a while,..."
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from MIssa (20-somethingfemale)4 answers
So me and the guy i was seeing broke up about a month and half ago. We had a...show more
pretty clean break-up and it was actually probably the "nicest" breakup to be a part of...We agreed to be friends, and over the past month and a half there has been some talk here and there through facebook messages, and i even got some weird texts from him here and there but nothing like "talking."..I was thinking of sending him an im tonight and seeing if we could have a decent conversation, but i didn't know if maybe it was still too soon to try the friend thing??..Vote:
633
67%Too Soon
33%Give it a try
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67%Too Soon
33%Give it a try
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everyone67%33%
female100%30
male33%67%12
1
teens100%10
2
20 somethings50%50%11
1
30 somethings100%10
2
40 somethings50%50%11
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50 somethings.00
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.="Too Soon"
.="Give it a try"
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from GiannaMay (20-somethingfemale)4 answers
I've been in a four-year relationship with my beau. When we're together,...show more
things are great. He leaves breakfast by the bed for me when he works early, and calls to ask what I'd like him to pick up for dinner when he works late. He works terrible hours, 6 days a week so I do my best to make his off time as relaxing as possible. I help him manage his time and remind him of things he wanted to do so he can accomplish what he needs to and some of the things he wants to in the sparse free time he gets. He keeps me focused on what I need to be doing, as well. We live pretty harmoniously and I go out of my way to alleviate any of his stress that I can. I couldn't be happier with the way he treats me, my friends and family, and the comfort I feel around his friends and family. However.....We just celebrated 4 years of being together and I sensed some hesitation in him. I asked what he meant when he said he loved me and he couldn't answer me. He said he didn't know...I was in a panic but tried not to show how much his words upset me and the weekend passed without any other incidents. But it makes me wonder. I know he was -severely- damaged in his last relationship, but shouldn't he know after 4 years what kind of love he has for me? It has me concerned that maybe he loves me the same as he loves his friends or family, but doesn't have an individual love for me that should be only mine...
..I know I love him that way, and I'm not sure what I should do...4 years is a lot to throw away, but I'm not sure how much longer I'll have to wait..for him to love me the way I love him. I'm afraid that come another four years, he'll have decided that he doesn't love me as strongly as I'd like him to and I'm just not sure I can start over, or if I can even wait so long, knowing that he loves me, but not knowing how...
..Right now, I guess things are okay, because I'm not looking to get married or have children and I'm working on my career, but I can't deny the nagging worry that when I finally get an answer from him, I will feel like I have wasted years on someone I thought would be around forever...
..What should I do?..
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lovecommitmentrelationshipuncertainty
from amlandutta (20-somethingmale)3 answers
i had a relation with my girlfrnd since last 1 and 1/2 yrs, suddenly she broke...show more
up and told me that she didnt like my family conditions and also she didnt love me anymore becoz she identified that her feelings is nothing but a affection kind of things or just a infatuation, anyway its not a love, but she was my first love and still i didnt able to understand why she have made this decision and left me behind all alone?? shall i wait for the girl?? as i have tried a lot but didnt able to forgot her.....will i able to forget her??..did she love me becoz i didnt find anything wrong in this past yrs...what she is telling is it true??..
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from anonymous5 answers
I think I have to break up with my girlfriend. Trouble is, I'm so nervous...show more
about seeing her in person to do it. Is it really awful and terrible to break things off over the phone, or in an email? We've only been together about three months, if that makes any difference. My rationale is that she won't want to see/be seen by me if she's upset and crying. And if she's not that upset, then it shouldn't make a difference anyway. Am I being a cad? Should I just suck it up and do it face to face?..Vote:
281711
78%Yes, do it face to face, it's the decent thing
7%You can do it over the phone
11%Tell her over the phone but offer to see her if she wants to talk things over
0%Email is best
4%Other
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78%Yes, do it face to face, it's the decent thing
7%You can do it over the phone
11%Tell her over the phone but offer to see her if she wants to talk things over
0%Email is best
4%Other
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everyone78%
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.
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female82%
.140300
male73%
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.82001
9
teens67%
.22%61200
12
20 somethings83%
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.100101
5
30 somethings100%50000
2
40 somethings50%50%11000
0
50 somethings.00000
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.="Yes, do it face..."
.="You can do it..."
.="Tell her over..."
.="Email is best"
.="Other"
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from anonymous4 answers
One of my best friends was just dumped by this guy who I think is an absolute...show more
jerk. She is wrecked by this experience -- can't stop crying, pining for him -- and it's all I can do to not tell her my true thoughts about this person. My only concern in doing so is that if they get back together again, my words would come back to haunt me and ruin our friendship. So, the jury's out. Should I:..Vote:
532
80%tell her he's a jerk
20%suck it up and say nothing
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80%tell her he's a jerk
20%suck it up and say nothing
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everyone80%
.
female67%33%21
male100%20
1
teens100%10
1
20 somethings100%10
3
30 somethings67%33%21
0
40 somethings.00
0
50 somethings.00
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.="tell her he's..."
.="suck it up and..."
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from nnr3334 (20-somethingfemale)6 answers
Dumped after 3 years.
I met him when I was a freshman in college. I actually...show more
had a boyfriend at the time, but things were going nowhere with that one and I ended the relationship. That whole time, I met a new guy that was in a few of my classes. I found him so attractive and he felt the same towards me. After a few months of hanging out, he asked me out. I said yes. We had some ups and downs in the relationship, but I loved him so much. I never saw myself marrying anyone I dated, until I met him. I was convinced he would be the man I married. Last thursday, he comes over to my apartment (which by the way, his apartment is in the next row at my apartment complex). He comes over, and I made him dinner. About an hour after, he said he had to talk to me about something. "I just think that your feelings for me are a lot stronger than my feelings are for you at this point." Basically, I was dumped. One sentence and my world came absolutely CRASHING down. We had broken up and got back together about 3 times before this. He gets stressed/overwhelmed about things in his life and feels like he needs to eliminate something.. which usually it was me. (Even his sister noticed this pattern) But we had always gotten back together. This time, I think, is different. I think it really is the end. But I can't stop the feeling of wanting him back so desperately and wanting him in my life and wanting to be with me and love me back. I haven't had a single day that I've woken up and not bawled my eyes out all morning...I just don't know what to do. I feel like I'm not myself without him. I can't stop crying at every random moment in the day. I just feel like my world came crashing down. He took everything away from me and my emotions, and he took them by force. Not a warning at all. He says he still cares about me and is there for me to help me through this if I need him. He's still being so nice to me and it just kills me that he doesn't feel the same way about me. It makes me sad knowing he never had any intention of marrying me. I feel like I'll never meet someone as amazing as he is. Anyone, anyone at all, have ANY advice that will help me through this? He's all I've known for 3 years now.. I just don't know how to be single anymore.. and don't want to be, for that matter. I feel so incredibly alone without him. Please, anyone help. :(..
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